This was the title of a quiz sent to us by Mr Arthur Blueberry of New Hampshire. Unfortunately, this being a campus magazine, the answer is rather obviously yes, so we have broadened its scope somewhat...


  1. 1. What are your political beliefs?
    1. Left wing
    2. Centre
    3. Tory/Fascist
    4. Chicken wing/Neeps neeps twiddley splot

  2. 2. Which of the following music do you listen to?
    1. They Might Be Giants
    2. Anton Bruckner
    3. 50 Great Triangle Noises
    4. The inside of your own ear drum

  3. 3. Where do you like to go on a Saturday evening?
    1. Night Club
    2. Theatre
    3. Derwent snackbar
    4. Walmgate Stray

  4. 4. How often do you play in a popular beat-combo?
    1. once a day
    2. only at weekends
    3. every time you're passing Sainsburys
    4. Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuooooowww!

  5. 5. What was the subject of the last lecture you attended?
    1. The Viking Age in the Isle of Man
    2. The Life-Cycle of an Earthworm
    3. The Bicycle of an Earthworm
    4. How much relish to put on your burger

  6. 6. How large is your student accommodation?
    1. About the size of my parent's wardrobe
    2. So small that every time I open the door there's an explosion as the atom splits
    3. What accommodation?
    4. Mars and back with the Pope, man...


Well, that's none of our business, but if you answered a lot of "D"s and you use no artificial stimulants then you better hurry up and join Aaardvark before they lock us all up. Bibble bibble blib...

Back to Aaardvark's things