PUSU University of Pork Student's Union Daily Dis-Info

Petunia - Ever since we met in that head-on car crash, I've been dying to see you again. Meet me in Ward C, next to the dialysis machine - Ted.

Fiona, I'll never two-time you again - John.

Brenda - Yours truly, madly, deeply, musically, weepingly, ecclesiastically, paradigmatically, stereophonically, pan- dimensionally, monotheistically - Jim

Mabel, I'll never two-time you again - John.

Florence - Spring is in the air, the cardboard flowers are blooming (blooming awful) and purple cows are grazing in the lush paper pastures. Can we bounce away together? - Zebedee.

Paul - they meant nothing to me, honestly! - John.

Edna - I can't stand the way you sexually molest pheasants, but other than that you're alright. Scott.

To the girl who tried to feel my banana in Retreat Lane last week - all is forgiven, and I hope you bring the watermelon next time.

Dierdre - you're the most interesting girl I've ever known. I'd love to show you my collection of writing paper watermarks, and afterwards we could watch paint dry together - Andy.

Paul, I love you. Do you hear me - I love you! I really love you. I just love you, alright. Don't argue about it. I love you. No really, I love you. Blimey, some people. Derek.

Jason, I've been cleaning your room now for months now, but I'd really like to clean you inside out. I'll be waiting with my hoover appliance - Dot.

Lee - Footstools brought us together, but an archaeopteryx tore us apart At least I've still got my Dragoon Guards. Strange Sally.

Bertrand -
Will you quell my existential angst, and we can co-exist together in subjective reality. Love, Ludwig.

Penelope - You're a bit of alright, love. Sid.
PS - Just thought you'd like to know, like.

Cilla, be my valentine - Peter.

Boris - We met at the International Burping Championships and you've put the wind up me ever since. Yours, Maggie.

No Cilla, be my valentine! - Brian.

Victoria - Let's amuse ourselves together. From another raving old queen - Quentin.

Don't listen to them Cilla - it's me you want! - Dave.

Cynthia, I'm installing my new chair-lift this afternoon; can I take you for a ride? - Bemard.

To Peter, Brian and Dave,
My first question is this: if you were a piece of household electrical equipment, what would you be? - Cilla.

Ever since we fell in love with ourselves, we've determined never to share our love with any other college - Wentworth.

Ermintrude -
You're really homy and I love you more than all the udders - Daisy.
PS - Let's go on a package holiday to France together.

Packs of 20 assorted Valentines cards available in the SU Shop today!


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