STUDENT DISINFO
FRIDAY 19th NOVEMBER 1993
Volunteers recltired for psychology
experiment. All applicants must bring
sunglasses, a pocket calculator and a
rubber duck.
Feeding ducklings plutonium kills them!
The rate of fission reactions
increase when wet, splittling the atoms
in the bird's stomach, causing it to
implode and reach critical mass,
creating a black hole which will
swallow up duckling, lake, campus and
the rest of the universe, including the
Derwent provost.
Due to the decreasing number of
people attending UGM's, next
Wednesday's meeting will be held in a
phone box. Unfortunately at least one
quorate meeting is needed to decide
which one.
Could whoever left their child on the
SU minibus last Thursday please collect
it a.s.a.p., as the Goodricke porters are
getting fed up with changing its nappies.
The Guatamalan Independence Society
will be meeting at 7:30 today in Guatemala.
ATTENTION! There will be a meeting
today at 1:30 in Central Hall to discuss
the government's proposals to dress up
as chickens. and appear on 'Today in
Parliainent' dancing the conga. Those
attending the meeting should paint
themselves blue and sing the third act
of Rigoletto while squeezing beetroot
under. their armpits and playing the
viola. It goes without saying that this
will be a truly Extraordinary Meeting.
"Jesus Christ Superstar." : Interested in
being crucified? Come along to
Vanbrugh Dining Hall today. Bring
your own cross.
Ironing Circle : 1 pm Langwith
Laundry.
Please note that due to time pressure
there will be no issue of Daily Info
today.
Thought of. the day: if you ever lose
your socks... if a sock was on your foot
when it got lost, then your foot will
disappear too.
Aaardvark: meeting 5.45pm to
distribute fake Daily Into sheets.
The Agnostic Society don't know
whether to meet tonight at 7pm
Any bets on where the next Gamblers
Anonymous Society meeting will be?
Alcoholics Anonymous will not be
meeting tonight in Alcuin Bar.
The Disorganised Society will be in
seperate rooms all over Wentworth (or
is it Langwith?) at various times this
week. (Actually it might have been last
week...)
Nothing to do this evening?
Completely Free?? Lucky Git.
The Meeting-Mondays-at-6pm-in-Lanigwith-Snack-Bar Society:
Self explanatory really.
Could all First year Undegraduates
who haven't had their knees stamped
please go to the medical centre as soon
as possible.
ATTENTION: Graivity will be turned
off throughout campus on Tuesday,
afternoon due to essential maintenance.
A limited supply, of velcro boots will
be avalable from the SU shop.
UNDER THREAT: We need more
threats NOW!
EXEC MEETING: Following the
recent successful campaign to turn the
lake on campus green, a meeting will
be held tonight at 6pin L/D20l to
discuss plans to turn It a deep
vermillion for the Spring term
HISTORY SOCIETY: Two eminent
historians are speaking today. They had
a bit of a quarrel last week but it's all
sorted out now.
SCARED? Do you keep you windows
locked even in hot weather? Do you
shiver and shake under your quilt at
the slightest sound? We know who you
are... so Watch it!
The Zen Society are having a debate
in L035 tonight at 7pm, "Do bananas
have Budhha-nature?" Members are
asked not to turn up.
LANGUAGES FOR ALL: due to
popular request, classes in level 7 (post
doctoral) Bulgarian will commence on
Monday.
LANGWITH BAR QUIZ: In
Wentworth bar every Saturday.
CONSERVATIVE STUDENTS MEETING: L/004 7pm.
LABOUR STUDENTS MEETING: L/006 7pm.
STOP PRESS! Short notice
Emergency Peace-Maknig Society
Meeting, in L/005 7pm. Please bring
your small placards (woof).
Training for the Macho Sports CIub,
4am every snowy morning.
CAREERS SERVICE - have you
thought of a career in the Careers
Service? Well we got there first - so
there!
FILM SOCIETY ELECTIONS:
Friday Week 7. Will anyone wishing
to stand please sit down as you'll block
my view. Thank you.
RIFLE CLUB: Duck shoot - 7pm
behind Wentworth.
Will Ruth Ashton please submit a
report of her daily routine to either the
Sociology Department or the Students
union. Thanks.
Are you unsure about how to handle
your finances? Finance consultancy
training session V/045 Wednesday.
£200 per session.
Interested in going to Alton Towers?
Well go on then - go!
Lift needed to second floor (technical
help required)
Feel a real man - play rugby. Contact
Doug Butch (A)
Will the Debating Society be meeting
next week? Come and argue your point
today in L/113 at 2pm. Or should it be
Derwent at 3pm?
Biluncho - come and learn the noble
and unique Korean art of purchasing
meals in a non-aggressive self -
defensive manner. Contact I. Diet (V)
or Ann Drogum (W)
loadsa empty space to annoy all those people whose daily dis-info
news did not get into todays daly dis-info. Makes ya wonder
doesn't it?
Aaarvdvark