Volunteers recltired for psychology experiment. All applicants must bring sunglasses, a pocket calculator and a rubber duck.

Feeding ducklings plutonium kills them! The rate of fission reactions increase when wet, splittling the atoms in the bird's stomach, causing it to implode and reach critical mass, creating a black hole which will swallow up duckling, lake, campus and the rest of the universe, including the Derwent provost.

Due to the decreasing number of people attending UGM's, next Wednesday's meeting will be held in a phone box. Unfortunately at least one quorate meeting is needed to decide which one.

Could whoever left their child on the SU minibus last Thursday please collect it a.s.a.p., as the Goodricke porters are getting fed up with changing its nappies.

The Guatamalan Independence Society will be meeting at 7:30 today in Guatemala.

ATTENTION! There will be a meeting today at 1:30 in Central Hall to discuss the government's proposals to dress up as chickens. and appear on 'Today in Parliainent' dancing the conga. Those attending the meeting should paint themselves blue and sing the third act of Rigoletto while squeezing beetroot under. their armpits and playing the viola. It goes without saying that this will be a truly Extraordinary Meeting.
"Jesus Christ Superstar." : Interested in being crucified? Come along to Vanbrugh Dining Hall today. Bring your own cross.

Ironing Circle : 1 pm Langwith Laundry.

Please note that due to time pressure there will be no issue of Daily Info today.

Thought of. the day: if you ever lose your socks... if a sock was on your foot when it got lost, then your foot will disappear too.

Aaardvark: meeting 5.45pm to distribute fake Daily Into sheets.

The Agnostic Society don't know whether to meet tonight at 7pm

Any bets on where the next Gamblers Anonymous Society meeting will be?

Alcoholics Anonymous will not be meeting tonight in Alcuin Bar.

The Disorganised Society will be in seperate rooms all over Wentworth (or is it Langwith?) at various times this week. (Actually it might have been last week...)

Nothing to do this evening? Completely Free?? Lucky Git.

The Meeting-Mondays-at-6pm-in-Lanigwith-Snack-Bar Society: Self explanatory really.

Could all First year Undegraduates who haven't had their knees stamped please go to the medical centre as soon as possible.

ATTENTION: Graivity will be turned off throughout campus on Tuesday, afternoon due to essential maintenance. A limited supply, of velcro boots will be avalable from the SU shop.

UNDER THREAT: We need more threats NOW!

EXEC MEETING: Following the recent successful campaign to turn the lake on campus green, a meeting will be held tonight at 6pin L/D20l to discuss plans to turn It a deep vermillion for the Spring term

HISTORY SOCIETY: Two eminent historians are speaking today. They had a bit of a quarrel last week but it's all sorted out now.

SCARED? Do you keep you windows locked even in hot weather? Do you shiver and shake under your quilt at the slightest sound? We know who you are... so Watch it!

The Zen Society are having a debate in L035 tonight at 7pm, "Do bananas have Budhha-nature?" Members are asked not to turn up.

LANGUAGES FOR ALL: due to popular request, classes in level 7 (post doctoral) Bulgarian will commence on Monday.

LANGWITH BAR QUIZ: In Wentworth bar every Saturday.



STOP PRESS! Short notice Emergency Peace-Maknig Society Meeting, in L/005 7pm. Please bring your small placards (woof).
Training for the Macho Sports CIub, 4am every snowy morning.

CAREERS SERVICE - have you thought of a career in the Careers Service? Well we got there first - so there!

FILM SOCIETY ELECTIONS: Friday Week 7. Will anyone wishing to stand please sit down as you'll block my view. Thank you.

RIFLE CLUB: Duck shoot - 7pm behind Wentworth.

Will Ruth Ashton please submit a report of her daily routine to either the Sociology Department or the Students union. Thanks.

Are you unsure about how to handle your finances? Finance consultancy training session V/045 Wednesday. £200 per session.

Interested in going to Alton Towers? Well go on then - go!

Lift needed to second floor (technical help required)

Feel a real man - play rugby. Contact Doug Butch (A)

Will the Debating Society be meeting next week? Come and argue your point today in L/113 at 2pm. Or should it be Derwent at 3pm?

Biluncho - come and learn the noble and unique Korean art of purchasing meals in a non-aggressive self - defensive manner. Contact I. Diet (V) or Ann Drogum (W)

loadsa empty space to annoy all those people whose daily dis-info news did not get into todays daly dis-info. Makes ya wonder doesn't it?

Aaardvark Seriously Silly | THE MAN FROM BISHWA ... HE SAY: '' NICE'' FLEUR ANDERSON ''heh!''    Aaarvdvark