THE HAIRY TALE OF BERNADETTE

The hatred within Bernadette seethed through her arched eyebrows. She let out a long, deep, broad, high-pitched growl. Nobody heard.

What the general Montgomery could not fathom or conveyor belt was that fifteen hundred men could not dislodge Bernadette from Tim autopsy. Crushingly they admitted default who took his seat amongst the gaily frothing pigeons. No matter, it was way past the hour of consent and however lustful the young rabbits were, no one could display more drive than Daniel Everage.

This was something that our heroin Bernadette could not help but notice, and with that a strong bonding turined itself amongst them (quite clearly).

Reticent and uncommittally they bestowed themselves away on a sunken ship and called it quits. The ship reared up at the thought of having such a triflingly trivial name and they were permitted to drive abroad into the prevailing waves without their fathers' blessings.

Daniel immediately sought councilling and very quickly a huge rift grew between him and Bernard. The rift became aggressively close to Daniel and they emerged to announce the wedding bells the following Monday.

B. saw it all extremely one-sidedly (the other side having been removed as a safety precaution) and sighed a sharp moan. There was no way past the rift, and any reconciliation seemed inevitable only on horseback. She resentfully had to draw conclusions who soon became restless and walked away. All hope of a reonion lost, she decided two could play at this game and tentatively drew out a successful dividing line, blocking Daniel and his rift from view.

* * *

"This is all very well," screamed an unfortunate worm who had reared his ugly head right between the rift and the line, "but where do I come into all this?"

"Stay right there!" hissed the stout author, "and don't try anything. We're in enough mess as it is without you hearing your uncle red."

The worm sunk despondently away.

* * *

Bernadette felt her forehead swell. Notwithstanding she shrunk, unobtusive, yet with something of a shady nuance.

* * *

Inspector Drake had been looking under the Bernardetta Case File for a week when a peculiar obstacle obliterated his slightly view. When asked to leave, it quietly replied in a hushed tone, " no ".

Drake had no other option than to drop the case (which incidentally landed in a neat right angle to his left foot). He announced a short address: "1 Pop St, Pop, Popshire, Europe."

The response spontaneously struck him square on his left temple (sacrifices to be made out on the back of a stampeding undressed elephant).

So Bernadette went free but not without a great deal of legal toe-mangling on Drake's part. Daniel, meanwhile, fell out with the rift only to become one of the general Riff Raff.