Some advice for contributing things to Aaardvark

Make sure that you are sensible about how you record your thoughts. PING! was going to have an article from a Mr. Hieronymous "Wheee Splat" Bonkmeister about meteorology as perceived by amphibians, but unfortunately, he wrote it on a submarine which sailed away just as he was writing the last full stop.

Here at Aaardvark we receive many submissions for the illustrious journal, some of which we find funny, some not so funny, and some utterly incomprehensible. Most we are forced to include anyway, but occasionally we receive a piece which is so subtle in its humour and lacking in the fundamental art of "making sense" that we feel obliged to include it as a tribute to obfuscation and the capacity of the human mind for producing complete nonsense. Here is such an example:

 - Alright, Shall we start?
- Haal jij die micro n's weg.
- Saved by the bell.

There are others we could name. Only yesterday the editor received a joke about two interior decorators written entirely in Swedish. It was only because of the editor's unparalleled linguistic ability that he managed to translate "Allied carpets" (if nothing else). A Mr.Gregory Tube of Derwent sent us a 60foot inflatable dingo which he suggested we give away free with a randomly selected copy of this magazine. Although at first unwilling we eventually submitted, and maybe yours is the lucky issue. Unfortunately we had to puncture the dingo to get it to fit inside the magazine, but a bit of sticky tape and he's yours to cuddle and keep.

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